Warning

Girls, this is serious. This is a list I have compiled of warnings signs…that your man is a closet gay. This is not a test. This is, “hi, I’m a red flag. Nice to meet you.”

Your boyfriend might be gay if….

-Any or all of his ex-girlfriends resemble post-op transsexuals

-He spends more time in the mirror than you

-He’s overly self-conscious of his hair

-He’s always fishing for compliments

-He has style resembles that of the most fashionable bull dykes of West Hollywood

-Your missing cosmetic products end up in his laundry

-He prefers anal sex

-His flamboyant impersonation is a little too good

-He’s an ex male stripper

-He’s asked you to put guyliner on him…and to teach him how

-He has a sudden chemical dependency, along with alcoholism

-He spends excessive amounts of money on clothes that are too tight

-He wears trendy hats (i.e. fedoras)

-He accessorizes with an extreme amount of jewelry

-He’s secretive and protective of his social networks and cellphone

-He masks his feminine sides with extreme or macho interest or hobbies

-He loves when you have a six pack (no, not beer, but that too)

-He loves watching you do your make up

-His friends are equally as pretty and feminine

-Extreme homophobia

– He typically dates women who aren’t interested in sex, are so insecure they easily internalize a lack of physical contact, or are virgins

-When he’s drunk, he jokes around about how everyone thinks he’s gay. But when he’s sober, he would take that accusation seriously.

-He’s absolutely clueless about the female body, and doesn’t understand foreplay or how to fuck

-You haven’t met very many of his friends, or know much about his past

-He thinks he’s an extreme dom in bed, but doesn’t make the first move

-He carries a purse like bag around

-He’s highly educated on wine and cheese

If you went through this check list and found most of them to be true, I hate to be the one to tell you, but your relationship isn’t going to last long. If you didn’t learn anything from this blog I would at least hope you had a few laughs. Cheers!

By | 2016-10-15T07:23:25+00:00 September 25th, 2012|Categories: blog|Tags: , , |5 Comments
  • Actually I DIDN’T want to notice the girl in the foreground cos I don’t find Emma Watson attractive, especially since she was probably 16 in that pic. So does that make me gay then?

    • no lovely, you’re not gay. i’d still love you even if you were.

      • Aw thank you dear! I’m still convinced all guys secretly have one man that they would totally go gay for. I don’t hide my man crush on Henrik Lundqvist. I’d totally devour his Swedish meatballs if he helped bring The Cup back to NY! LOL

  • rjmoon25

    Wow Hermione has some nice boobies. Can we do more of these tests? Just to make sure.