Snowed In

Rumor has it a record setting blizzard is on its way to the Northeast coast. For all of my readers in that area I hope that you’ve prepared for an emergency, especially a blackout. As a kid growing up in the Midwest, we used to get snowed in frequently and it was one of my favorite times of the year. Now as an adult living in California I will not have that enjoyment again, but I began wondering what would happen if I did. What would a porn actress do with her time if she we locked in? To begin things I probably would start talking to myself just so I had a friend besides my cat and dog. Everyone can always use an extra friend. So picture yourself, alone, surrounded by a white, a soft blanket covering everything in the world around you…What do you do?

  1. SNOW FIGHT! – I once got snowed in while living in my apartment complex and I began a snowball fight with very “bro” looking neighbors. One of them wouldn’t come out and play so I loaded up a dozen snowballs in my tiny arms and bombarded him in his home on his couch. Soon after the entire complex of over 100 people were involved. So much fun!
  2. SNOWMAN ARMY – Just for giggles I’d make two teams of dozens of snowmen lined up on my street preparing for battle against one another. To take this display up to the next step will require ketchup (for blood) and black frosting for “x” eyes. May the best (snow)men win.
  3. SNOWFORT! – I am a masterminded genius at home made igloos. My best igloo to date had an entry way, a living room, a den, and a bedroom area. Booya…top that bitches.
  4. HUSKY-BOARDING – I happen to own a Siberian Husky, and don’t you dare tell me you wouldn’t use your husky’s natural pulling abilities during a blizzard! All I have to do is strap on my snowboard and MUSH! If my neighbor had a dog and board we would race!
  5. ULTIMATE HOT CHOCOLATE – After a long day of playing in the snow, I’m going to want some hot coco. My favorite recipe? Hot coco made with almond milk topped with whipped cream and salted caramel sauce (you’re welcome for the mouthgasm in advance).
  6. DRESS UP DANCE PARTY – I just know after a while of being in the house I would want to clean and organize…but why not have a little fun with it? I envision myself recording embarrassing but comical movie montage moments and later posting them on youtube for you all to make cruel and fun jokes at my entertainment. Good ol’ American social network pastimes.
  7. PLAY WITH YOURSELF – Look, I’m stuck in a house by myself. If you even leave me alone for ten minutes I will absolutely play with myself. I feel I could knock out a few hours of the blizzard doing this.
  8. PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE – This is optional. Depending on the circumstances you may not be able to play with someone else. I’m slutty by nature and career so I’m very sure I could con someone in the general vicinity into banging out my holes when I’m bored with them.
  9. GET WASTED! – As you can tell, this isn’t at the top of my list of things to do, but if my power is out and I can’t watch movies or porn….chances are by dark I’m going to need another form of entertainment. Pick your poison wisely! Since hypothetically I’m stuck in a blizzard and my power is possibly out so now I’m cold, I think I’m going to smoke as much weed as I can and drink a bottle of Jack. The Russians tell me vodka is good for cold but alas, I’m allergic to vodka. Since I am now talking to myself, and banging myself at this point, I’m going to get me drunk again so I can bang myself….again.
  10. DRUNKEN FORTS! – Heh, I made a badass outside fort, now its time to make an indoor one. What I’ll do in this fort no one knows. Its just for me, and Smashley (my drunken alter ego) to know. In reality we’ll probably be playing hide and go seek with my phone.

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  • Random

    Damn, now I wish I had grown up somewhere where it gets cold.