Porn: The Stigma 

ah_stigmaIt’s almost been five years since I, “sold my soul,” as I endearingly say. It seems one can be forgiven for almost anything in modern day America…or can I? I am Ash Hollywood, and I am a porn star. Most of the day I spend my time like everyone else: stuck in traffic, ingesting caffeine for hopeful alertness, running errands like a headless chicken, and patiently counting the hours until I can feel the comfort of my sheets again. The only difference is I don’t have a nine to five, the only office you’ll ever see me in is poorly lit, and I’m wearing an outfit HR would have a field day over. I make things public of myself that people only dream about in their worst nightmares; I am naked and having sex for the world to see!

To the general population I am going straight to that toasty tormented area known Christianly as, Hell. So, my moral compass is slightly askew. I know for a fact (due to many anonymous confessions over the years) that I’m not sharing anything publicly that most of don’t practice or dabble in behind closed doors, whether the man on the cross is watching you or not…or Santa…or your cat, whatever. The difference between you, the reader, and I, is that I have passion for the visual manifestation of the fantasies of others. When I began this journey I lacked a fantasy and that didn’t sit well with me. I had very little experience so I didn’t know what I enjoyed. Just out of college I decided to take a sexual crash course: Porn 101.

It’s true, it’s not all glitz and glamour in the world of pornography. In fact, it’s more smoke and mirrors than anything. I had a rough start; learned everything the hard way, and poorly misjudged the integrity of a few but I continued strong with my personal boundaries. With that self respect I made a career out of this crazy little thing called lust and branded my bat name into something successful and desired. I could go on all day about my marketing skills and my knowledge of business successful social media, although I know that doesn’t matter one bit. A majority of America and the rest of this world is thinking, “If I fuck this girl I’ll probably get an STD.” And my response? Ignorant. Hopefully you will leave this article having learned something.

The truth is a person has more of a risk of contracting HIV from their neighbor than a porn star. The earliest detection of the virus can be found after 28 days through testing. A full-time working performer such as myself tests every 14 days. If the torture of peeing isn’t enough to bare some respect maybe having a needle unpleasantly poked in me twice a month will. The CDC recommends ANNUAL testing for HIV and STIs, so on average one only knows their status on their yearly physical.  That’s 351 days more than probably you the reader know your genital health status.  One in five people are carries of the virus and have not yet been diagnosed…but I know my status. Do you?

I love my job. I am a sexually liberated woman that is more confident and satisfied in her sex life than ever before. I am twenty-five. I can tell my partner exactly what I like and don’t like in bed with the confidence to vocalize it and always have a satisfying time. The number one reason why relationships end up not working out? Lack of communication, which then leads to a less passion bedroom life. Well I won’t have to spend until my midlife crisis finding out those things after a nasty divorce. Shockingly my time in the adult industry I’ve learned a massive amount about myself and human behavior. When you’re stripped down naked, there’s not much you can hide.

The next go to jab is, “You must have daddy issues because you strive for attention.” My family is clearly none of your business, and if one would ask the honest answer is that my family fully aware of my profession. I am the luckiest woman to have their love and support. To me this is a business, and I love sex. Little known secret about me…I suffer from public anxiety. Ive also faced my fears with my work.

Remember, though we are all highly diverse, we are also one in the same. I don’t have the right to judge anyone, as I would hope others would pay the same respects. You have no idea who I am, where I come from, or what I’ve been through. You only know the person that I show you. You know someone who is a product of the imagination: Ash Hollywood… And well to put it simply, she doesn’t give a fuck what you think of her.

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By | 2016-10-15T07:23:02+00:00 September 30th, 2014|Categories: blog|Tags: , , , , |3 Comments
  • Lori K

    Well said, Ash. There should be a day to honor our fab porn stars and their body of work. Maybe a national porn-star holiday. College kids and adults would get the day off from school or work. It would be a day to celebrate. btw, you’re a great role model, don’t let anyone tell you different.

  • mike m

    Thank God or the Universe that finally some of us can admit that sex is a very natural part of our existance. Someone once said “Abstinence is the MOST deviant of all sexual perversions”. Go Ash

  • Ken

    Since I don’t know you, it’s not my place to judge, and I don’t. Part of my thought process is about how I’d feel doing that same job, although the demands on men are different in this profession, I’m not unfamiliar with very public demands on me having to perform at the highest levels of human capability; mine just happened to not involve something with my clothes on…

    A person could argue, and many have, that I, in my service to the Nation, were a whore of the most spectacular sort, and that I continue to peddle my services as a whore in my retirement just through my existence, daring to show young men and women that they can possibly serve their country, and that such service could in any way be Honorable.

    Many people think otherwise, and that I’m part of a vast conspiracy to defraud them of their tax dollars and overthrow the country. In short, there’s a little bit of crazy in that conservative steak that ignores the basic tenant of “mind your own business” and perhaps even “be a decent neighbor to those around you” falling somewhere in that vast gray area in which we all operate.

    Of all the things you described, speaking your mind about your desires, being mindful of your body, watching out for your health, I’m having trouble finding fault.