Manners and Incurable Diseases

blog-mind-your-mannersFor those of you who are not aware and are very confused by this current blog title, don’t worry, I will explain if my cat ever stops tap dancing on my keyboard for more pets. Currently the adult industry is in yet another moratorium. This is frightening and concerning to all of us, especially those who are close to or knew the person(s) affected. Lately, I’m noticing a trend of very immature and down right ugly reactions on social media. I see this as an opportunity to remind all fans, performers, and industry related people that at one point in time we were taught something called “manners”.

Back in the mid 2000 BC (before record of Jesus) a man named Ptahhotep wrote “The Maxims of Ptahhotep,” where he explains the following virtues and recommends their following:

-Truthfulness (With honesty, there is no animosity, competition, or jealousy. Facts and emotions are able to be processed)

-Self-Control (Growing up we are taught social norms. We have the ability to chose right from wrong and the process of choosing the right choice is our self control.)

-Kindness towards ones fellow beings (Kindness is something that should be given out like judgment usually is. Lets work to change this.)

-Learning by listening to everybody (If we were to listen more, and speak less, we would learn what information we’re missing daily by talking about ourselves or others.)

-Knowing that human knowledge is never perfect (Enough said.)

-Avoiding open conflict wherever possible should not be considered weakness (I’ve always said “pick the battles worth fighting, and only your own.)

-The importance of justice and morality (Do good, and be good.)

Just out of morbid curiosity, how many of you try to practice even half of these? I can say I’ve witnessed far too many people having absolutely no sensitivity in our most recent situation, or for that matter any of them. Now, I’m not saying anyone is right in this situation. There’s no way to be right. Someone’s life has now been permanently affected. Honestly no matter who’s right or wrong it’s a lose lose situation….BUT YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE CAN DO? Have some damn manners. We learned them as kids. I’m sure you all remember. Although this is a very intense and serious problem, please keep in mind the most important piece to this issue is HOW ITS REACTED TO. In the end, the reaction and what comes of this reaction is what will change history. The person(s) affected are only the catalyst to it all.

My mother always told me, “If you have nothing nice to say Ash, don’t say anything at all.”

I recently read an article written to teachers about making their classroom a better learning environment, although if you replace the word “student” with “performer” this starts to make a lot of sense. Tell me what you think.  Now, don’t think I’m belittling anyone. I’m not. Sometimes we just need to go back to the basics to figure a problem out. Honestly, these are the first four steps that should be taken to unify the adult industry and its procedures taken at times like these.

1. Clarity trumps all. Your performers must clearly understand your rules in order to follow them.

2. Use only four or five rules. Any more than that will make your rules harder to remember and, thus, harder to follow.

3. Make sure your rules cover every eventuality. You can’t enforce a behavior unless it falls under the banner of one of your rules. Doing so is confusing and unfair to performers.

4. Make them specific. Everyone, especially you, needs to know when or if a rule has been broken.

My heart goes out to everyone at this time. It hasn’t been an easy year for the adult industry. Please everyone be safe and follow safe practices at work and in your personal life. Risky behavior will not only affect you but everyone. I would never wish this upon anyone but do pray they get the love and support they need to get through this mentally and physically.

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By |2016-10-15T07:23:10+00:00December 10th, 2013|Categories: blog|Tags: , , , |3 Comments