There are all kinds of lies. There are the big lies we tell to save our asses, the small lies we tell to save our relationships, and the lies we tell ourselves. If I had a superpower it would be to tell if someone was lying, although that could also be a curse. I find myself analyzing what people are doing while they’re talking more than analyzing what they are saying. In a single conversation with a stranger, more than 50% of what they may tell the other person is usually a lie of some scale. Its human nature to naturally trust the good in other people because that is what we want to believe. Luckily enough for those that want the truth, the body never lies. People give off micro expressions that say what they are not. Here are some of the key things the truth seekers can look for…
1. Body Language- Sweating, fidgeting, and folded arms are all very obvious signs of discomfort with the conversation.
2. Details- Liars have a tendency to be vague and skip over the small things. By asking more in depth questions and asking for particular details the person will start to slip up with the inability to keep track of the additional “facts” in lies.
3. Unfriendliness- After being caught, liars have a way of becoming abrasive and unfriendly trying to “push” the other person away. Anger is a very large tell to the reaction of a question concerning a lie.
4. Eyes- Being that were human and we’re natural “do-gooders” its difficult for a liar to keep eye contact during confrontation.
5. Stress- Again this is a reaction in the eyes and also the voice. Pupils dilate during times of stress (and sexual attraction) and the voice will elevate to a higher pitch.
6. Long Pauses- For most, lies don’t usually appear immediately in the mind. They take a pause after a question to formulate to make the most sense. Listen for the long pauses and be weary.
7. Repeat it- Police investigators ask suspects to repeat their story and look for discrepancies in the stories. Also, liars think in an in the moment “forward” motion. Ask the person to repeat the events backwards, and they usually won’t be able to do so.
8. Self Declaration- Someone who really wants to be believed, despite our natural ability to trust, will reinforce the fact that they’re being honest. Phrases to look for are “trust me,” “truth be told,” and “to be honest.”
9. Itching and Scratching- Someone telling a lie will scratch their nose, tug their ear or rub their neck while lying. These are self comforting tactics.
10. Trust Yourself- Intuition can be a wonderful thing. Trust yourself above all. If someones story doesn’t make sense ask yourself why.
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