10 Reasons I’m Un-Dateable

1. My pets are people to me. No seriously, I have full conversations with them, my Instragram and Vine are all about their furry butts, AND Lu and Prada have their very on twitters. Leo has one soon to come.
2. My work has priority. I’ve always been this way, and it’s a common complaint that I work too much and I never have time for anyone.
3. I don’t like to leave the house. This is a bad habit as of late. On my days off I just can’t pry myself away from all my food, TV, computer, or animals! Especially with this adorable new addition Leo. I think my fridge became only alcohol, take out and left overs before I last went shopping.
4. I don’t like to drive.  I’m a rarity, a porn performer with a drivers license AND a car! I’ve already been in two car-totaling accidents (not my fault) in California though so it takes a lot for me to drive around LA.
5. I love girls, and very openly.  Okay, some of you may laugh because most men think, “Oh its no problem if my girl flirts and makes out with girls,” until they date me and I leave them at the bar to go spend the night with a woman instead of him.  Yeah, I’m a little rude, but mostly a cock blocker.
6. I perform in adult films. Again, this is another one where most men would dream of dating a porn performer…until they actually do. I’ve dating non-performers and performers in this career, and the performers were actually the most jealous!
7. I’m not the marrying type and I don’t want kids. Eventually I will have a home outside of a major city, possibly on a lake with a small farm. I’m really not the institutionalized marrying type. This ruins it for all hopeless romantics who meet me.
8. I’m insufferably sarcastic, always.  I have the dry sense of humor and ability to keep a straight face that makes people remarkably uncomfortable. People who know me well catch on to me eventually. Really, just keep in mind that I’m never serious – I’m just really good at pretending.
9. I hate being told what to do, and I’m highly defiant. I don’t need to be tamed; honestly, I just need someone to run wild with me. If you tell me one thing, I’ll probably just do the other to get a reaction.
10. I get bored easy. Even if you happen to stick it out through all of that, I’ll probably still get bored and leave…or just pick up another couple guys and girls in the rotation.

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All humor aside I really began to think about motherhood the other day. My “Mumz,” as I endearingly call her, had me at the age of 23. I am about to be one year past that age, I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be in my life as it currently stands with a little one year old mini me (I was a dead ringer for my mom, I only assume I’d have the same effect on my child). As I was driving around yesterday I would look in my rear view mirror and imagine a little blonde head of hair in a booster seat. Of course, soon following that imagery, I began to tally up the list of things that would need to change in my life if I were to become a mother. Things on my list were the usual – stop smoking, get a safer car, stop sleeping in, save money and budget money for little one’s future – and that’s when I realized I have more growing up to do than I thought! I barely take myself seriously let alone take full responsibility for much of anything. How could I be trusted to care for something so small and helpless that it depends on me for LIFE AND SURVIVAL?!

This awakening made me reflect on the few memories I have from when I was around 3. As long as I can remember my mother carried two or more jobs to take care of her children.  When I was 4 my brother was born, and then there were two of us. She raised us alone for most of our childhood because our fathers didn’t have the option of being there. They both gladly screwed that up for themselves. I never figured out how she had patience for us both at the same time, but I think that comes with the territory of motherhood. I never once doubted that she loved us. In fact, even at a young age I remember some of the sacrifices she made for our wellbeing.

It was a sunny Midwest day, sometime around the summer when the wind is crisp and the grass and trees were bright green. I had played outside that day with the neighbor kids in our apartment complex, but not by brother, because he was still too much of a baby for me to really play with. I was a climber, and would reach as high as I could before I jumped down. Secretly, I wanted to fly like the birds.

“ASHLEY,” yelled the distinct voice of my mom. Her call could be heard for miles I swore, and no matter what I dropped everything and went running home upon hearing it. The neighbor who was watching us had already returned my little brother home and he was sitting at the table patiently waiting for food. Mom was in the kitchen and I sat down next to my brother. Mom, at the time, had a way of always giving us interesting food; things I never saw other kids eat. She came back to the table with warm beans for us both, and sat with us. Halfway through my beans I noticed mom didn’t have a bowl.

“Momma, where’s yours? Do you want some of mine?” I asked in my little voice.

My mother eyes began to well with tears. She took the bite I offered her and replied, “No baby, I’m fine.”

It wasn’t until years later I realized my mom went hungry that night. What I thought was creative and interesting dishes for dinner was actually whatever we had left in the cupboard. That particular day I remember so clearly, my Mother gave us what food we had while she had none, after working hard at two jobs just to make sure we had a roof over our head. Talk about sacrifice. We had our rough times, but she was always there, strong and even more caring. I’ll always love my mom. She is my hero.

Not all of you may have tear jerking or heartbreaking stories of your moms, but at least remember you all have one. She’s out there somewhere, even if that somewhere isn’t with us anymore, there will always be a piece of her inside you. Mothers are forever engraved into our hearts.

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I have two scenes in this movie. The lucky men are James Deen and Marcus London. These two have me every which way all the while Kayden Kross and I are in an awful cat fight. I won’t spoil the porn story line, you’ll just have to watch for yourself…or fast forward to all the sex scenes. Whatever your porn viewing style is, I won’t judge.

For those Ashaholic collectors out there here is the direct link to purchase “Falling Out”

Also, check out some of these promo shots from the movie!

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I want you.

The Juliland Universe, Richard Avery, and myself are extremely excited and very proud to present a new opportunity for all you scholarly deviants and well spoken pervs.  The newest addition to our adult playground, Dear Scarlett is a means for subscribers and followers to share their thoughts with the public.  With Dear Scarlett, you can do the following:

★ Write your own article, erotic narrative, personal story, sex tips, etc.,  and have it published on the Juliland blog anonymously or with credit!

★ Write an email to Scarlett Stone or Richard Avery and have it published with a response on the Juliland Blog!

★ Write an email to Scarlett Stone or Richard Avery and receive a private response in your inbox!

★ Send Scarlett Stone love letters and leave Richard Avery in the dust!

★ Find out ways to work, intern, and/or contribute to Juliland.com!

Our Universe strongly encourages anyone and everyone to have fun with Dear Scarlett!  Write about what you know, what you’ve been through, lessons you’ve learned in the bedroom or in relationships, your thoughts on the adult industry, your favorite genre of porn, or your favorite adult star!  While you may not realize it now, your  unique perspectives can truly inspire readers.  You can change someone’s sex life by thoroughly describing the art of squirting, and in some strange way, you’ve made a difference!  So bring out your smarts and impress the lace panties off me.  To begin your journey, email your content and questions to Scarlett@Juliland.com, MissScarlettStone@gmail.com, Richard@Juliland.com, or Info@Juliland.com with a header of “Dear Scarlett.”

Yours truly,
Scarlett Stone

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A bad bitch with two middle-fingers in the air, Gabriella does not discriminate when it comes to gender.  She believes that grrls are gorgeous human beings, and men are the sexiest when they’re well groomed.  But when it comes to boys, she simply has no time.  Then again, who does?  Knowing exactly what she wants, Gabriella admits to being most turned on by the simple act of ear kissing (admirers, take note!).

When she’s in the work place, Gabriella and her nether regions (otherwise known as “Pocket Pussy”) enjoy taking out all emotions on a penis.  “It’s pretty exhilarating, and it’s a great work out too!”  But when she’s not ruling all things phallic and working her butt off, you can find her rocking out to Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back” or taking kick-ass photographs with Richard Avery.

The BEST news I have for you all is that YOU CAN NOW ENJOY THIS AT HOME! The movie is now for sale on Amazon: HERE and the book for sale: HERE

As for me, I’ll be at the private screening on Wednesday and attempting to grace the red carpet without falling in my seven inch heels. Although, don’t get discouraged ladies and gentlemen. If you would also like to see Aroused on the big screen YOU CAN… This Friday in Hollywood itself (no, not ME – just in my neck of the woods) at the Chinese Theatre 6801 Hollywood Boulevard Hollywood, CA 90028.

@TiffanyTylerxxx: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
No, no, it was a huge hassle getting pulled out of my mothers warm pouch.

@IllmaticNinja: Do you pee in the shower?
Do you pee anywhere else?

@Alex88102: Favorite sexual experience?
The one we’re having right now.

@Pornstars4vets: Girls or Boys? Which do you prefer?
Both, and at the same time. In Juliland we’re hunting for a unicorn.

@its_that_1_guy: What the fuck did Bill Murray say to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation?
I truly have no idea, I’ve never seen the movie. Here’s some good ol’ google magic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?

@AlexanderGhali: What age are you?
Young enough to get in trouble and old enough to know better.

@stillnotdone If I were a fish and you caught me, but you knew it was me cause I’m Adam the fish, what would you do?
I would bring you home so you could hang out in my sweet fish-pad.

@Dakine7: One finger, or two?
I only need one to express how I feel, Darling.

@FredFranchiseYF: What was the last gift that a friend got you?
I received this lovely black and white party dress from a fan (unknown) to me and I would love to thank him.

@Az_Kenny_Man: You single? May I have your number?
Sorry love, I’m greatly unavailable.

@thinkgeek_: Do you have plans to visit Mexico soon?
Do you have plans to give me a reason?

@himeros1001: All that Plath didn’t make you want to give it all up?
No, I’m too determined to give up anything, and too vain to kill myself.

@jag7310: Do you like the taste of your own pussy?
Yes absolutely. If I didn’t I wouldn’t let anyone else near it.

@kinggeo2: Are you gonna do anal in the future?
I’m scared, will you go first?

@AngryTengu: Do you want hot sauce with that?
I just cooked jambalaya so….yes please!

@wicked_elysium: To pizza or not to pizza?
BEN AND JERRYS

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