Most of my blogs are mindless shit or basic observation. This is one of those observation blogs. I love to categorize and a lot of times I categorize people. In my last year of being single and loving it, I’ve noticed some very lame and some cunning behavioral patterns that people go through to attract a partner. Essentially, this is Ash Hollywood’s laws of attraction, so read these and keep a heads up for the games that are about to begin.
The Narcissist/Ego/Bro/Douchebag/Charmers: okay so if it was impossible to tell so far, this is my least favorite personality type that comes my way. There’s only one ego big enough to fit in the room and that’s MINE ;). This type is easy to spot. Look for over grooming, flashy clothes and jewelry, and an extremely extroverted personality. They will do anything to get someone’s attention, especially if ignored. This type comes in strong to sweep grrls off their feet. Beware, they can only puff their chest for so long, then the show is over. They’re charming, but they say the same thing to every girl. Don’t forget that.
The Puppy/Geek/Nerd: This seems to be the type I always fall for. What can I say?! …I’m a live humane society for broken boys. I gave up my puppy addiction finally but don’t fall for these coy big eyed tricks! This type is usually shy, introverted, lonely, and knows just how to wrench a heart out of its chest. Its cute at first, but a year into the relationship it won’t be uncommon to find this person becomes mean and spiteful. Remember when you play with puppies, you get peed on!
The Bad Boy/Heartbreaker: Everyone knows this type! I know I continue to make this mistake. They’re tricky little fuckers. Bad boys tend to be a mix of the two above. They have the tough guy attitude when they need it, but really seem to be compensating for their opposite and lesser self. Don’t be fooled by the dark attire and tattoos, they’re only trying to scare the shit out of you so you can’t see how scared they are. Proceed with caution.
The Hopeless Romantic: Grrls, when you’re young this can seem like the most annoying type ever. Although, if he has a big heart its in your best interest to keep this type around. Be careful because the charmers (top type) can come off as the Romantic, but they are not one in the same. This guy will usually approach you shyly, or as a friend, or even come off way too strong. No worries, they’re harmless!! They’re just full of hopes and dreams, which I’ll even say is romantic. *barf*
The Desperado: I’m not going to explain much about this one because every girl knows it. The more I think about them, the more I want to punch the nearest hipster. This is the guy that will fuck anything with a hole to stick it in. I can’t even say “will fuck anything that walks” because I’m sure he’d still fuck a girl missing legs. Signs of this type: tries to hard, over stays the welcome, instantly makes grrls uncomfortable. Common symptom of these men: vaginal dryness.
In my closing statement to this silly observation, just know that people play games. Its what we do, consciously or subconsciously. In order to survive this dating jungle, just know how to play the games better!! Or be like me and fall hopelessly in love with a genius photographer that will never know I exist…ahh I was always good at getting the heartbreakers.